Mary told me the other day that I needed to just start blogging and not feel like every post needed to be meaningful and insightful. So I am contemplating doing so, as difficult as it seems to me, as I really want to feel like my words are useful to those reading them. This post is a poignant one, but I am going to try to take Mary's advice and see if I can just write to share, entertain, cry, bitch, whatever the mood is for the day, long or short, whatever. Your support along the way with comments will help me to realize if this is the direction I should be going in and if WE want to continue.
Here goes....
This morning a few of us took on the P90X Core Synergistics video for the first time. Difficult movements which over time we will master, and I am already 12 hours later feeling the effects of the workout in my glutes, a good thing. As we "around 50 year olds" were stretching, in a downward dog position, we could not help but be mortified over the droopy skin that is hanging down around our knees. Thankfully we could only see our own, and Tara was lucky to have capris on so hers were covered up, but I told the ladies the reason our sight goes as we get older is so we can't see all the flaws the years provide for us. Just squint a little more when looking in the mirror so you won't be so shocked. Lots of laughter and fun we have together as we share our lives and improve our health through exercise.
Tara quickly scooted out as she knew Diane and I were planning to say our Novena together after our workout, she is Jewish, even though she knows we would have welcomed her, but we did ask our Christian friend Cathy to join us. We didn't know what we were getting into, but soon Diane suggested since we were on the Sorrowful Mysteries today, that we should do The Seven Sorrows Devotion. If nothing else, I do suggest you click on the website above to read the sorrows of our Mother. I will tell you that God placed this on Diane's heart today and that the message could not have been more perfect for the conversations we had previous to our prayer time together. Ironically, Diane, Cathy and myself have all lost children. The three of us have all walked the path of Our Blessed Mother suffering with the pain of losing own children. Our tears were not only for our Blessed Mother, but for ourselves and each other, and no greater healing takes place than when we can help another, and that is exactly what the Novena did for us today. God is good.
Tomorrow I am off alone, just as my numero uno volunteer Carolyn did today, to Mt San Antonio College, our favorite location to run drives partnering with the American Red Cross. And then on Thursday, Mark's 49th bday, to Cal Poly Pomona. I am always saddened to realize the limited number of volunteers we have, and this motivates me more to keep up the Novena, in addition to the fact that I love the peace that surrounds me during and after my prayer time, to implore the Blessed Mother to hear my cries for direction and success to the foundation.
Trying to focus on the positive and let go of the negatives, which are inflicted by others whether they know it or not, but still struggling with the immensely. I do want to share the writing of a gal I have been put in touch with that is a grant writer who I will be hiring to help us find money to get our work accomplished. She knew nothing of us, but I shared the video and these words followed....
Hi Gina,
Before we chat tomorrow (which I am really looking forward to), I just want
to take a moment to pause and send my condolences and deep empathy to you
and your family for your loss of Evan. My heart breaks for you and I just
can't imagine how hard that road must have been for you all. Ten years with
a baby is just not enough. You are amazing people for ever getting out of
bed after that. And you and your husband are amazing parents for raising
children who would do something like Mary did, to turn around and donate the
way she did. I am eternally impressed with your entire family. I don't even
know you yet, but I am proud to know OF you all. :-)
That all said, I need to wipe away these tears (oh this is an emotional
topic, isn't it), and go hug my boy and look forward to chatting with you
tomorrow.
Just wanted to tell you, in the moment, how fantastic you all are and how
very sorry I am for you.
Now to follow your lead and move on to the work we can do together. :-)
My response to her and to all who have ever write or spoke a kind word to this grieving mother....
I am so thankful for your words. I can't tell you how many people don't get it. g
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